Pinkos

~ Patrick O'Grady ~ 1 Comment
Pink over the Sandias (and at the O’Scars, too).

The weather suddenly has a nasty case of multiple-personality disorder.

First it was breaking heat records right, left, and center. Then yesterday, it was the thundering winds and the air so thick with particulates, pollen, and various monoxides and dioxides — hence the phrase, “Beware the ’ides of March!” — that one had to chew each breath 666 times before swallowing. The AirNow.gov klaxons were going all like aaaaaaOOOOOOgahh and the local air-quality monitors were an equally loud shade of red that matched my eyes.

I didn’t even think about going out for a ride or run. Nevertheless around 10:30 last night I was blown out of bed and into the spare room by an allergy attack the likes of which I haven’t suffered since LBJ was hoisting his beagles and the Vietnamese by the ears. I didn’t think it was possible for a human body to contain that much snot, unless maybe that body belonged to Karoline Leavitt.

I did wonder whether UFC bro’-brahs Addled Hitler and Bibi the Beast going all Michael Corleone around the Bible Lands might have had some effect on the global climate. I’ve heard it said that The Pestilence can change the weather in DeeCee just by dropping trou’. In any case both should be in cages, and if they wanted to fight, well, I’d buy a ticket.

Today we awakened to temps in the 20s with a forecast high in the 60s, which would be par for the course this time of year. But the forecast also calls for highs to ascend to the upper 80s by Thursday. Perhaps Lucifer has finally found the escalator that runs upward.

“The Devil you say? Wonderful to see you again, old chap. Bit of an upgrade from the trip downward, yes? ‘Hurl’d headlong flaming’ and all that? Will you have tea? Oh, I beg your pardon, something cool for a change, certainly. …”

Speaking of failed rebellions and free beverages, I see “One Battle After Another” took the big prize last night. At times I wonder if the Oscars aren’t actually the work of some third-rate TikTok movie critic name of Domhnall O’Scar, an Irish-American knee-walker who decides who gets what depending upon who’s underwriting his bar tab at the moment.

“One Battle After Another,” y’say? (belch) Is tha’ an empty glass I see before me? Yeer a gennl’mun an’ a scholar, sir. Down the hatch and up the rebels! (urp)”

Price capades

~ Patrick O'Grady ~ 12 Comments
¿Juanita, hermana, qué te pasó?

While making a smallish grocery run today I snatched up a can of Juanita’s Mexican Style Hominy, which I like to have in the pantry in case I find myself in a mood for a pot of posole, prepared in lazy gabacho fashion.

But it didn’t look quite right. … and it wasn’t.

These suckers used to be 30 ounces. Now they’re 25. Last March 15, a can cost $2.99. Today, it cost $3.79. For 5 ounces less hominy.

Hmmm. Whatever could’ve happened? Wait for it. …

From foodnewswire.com, dated May 2, 2025

Apex Capital, a private equity firm focused on investing in the consumer sector across the Americas, is pleased to announce the acquisition of a majority stake in Juanita’s Foods, a leading producer of authentic Mexican food products in the United States.

Maybe this is why Juanita’s has been tough to find lately. For the last pot of posole I made I used canned white hominy from Goya Foods, whose CEO is a big fan of the pinche pendejo Charlie Pierce calls “El Caudillo del Mar-a-Lago.” The boss-fella’s breath may have a whiff of ass to it — ¿quien sabe? — but it was a 29-ounce can and it only cost $3.69.

In any event, while I can’t say for sure exactly when it happened, it sure seems like these capitalistas carroñeros from Apex Capital have done slipped the pork to my posole via shrinkflation.

Fuelishness 2: $3.89 for all my friends!

~ Patrick O'Grady ~ 15 Comments
Valero: $3.89
Circle K: $3.89
Speedway: $3.89
DK: $3.89

Everyone’s on the same page along Tramway Boulevard.

Way back in the Glory Days of Monday — remember that fabulous Monday? — a happy Duck! City motorist could gas up for $3.39 or $3.59 per gallon, depending on his/her choice of station.

On Saturday … not so much.

The going rate for a gallon of go-juice on Tramway today is $3.89, from Lomas to San Bernardino. Affordability is on the march, and soon the American public will be legging it around and about, too.

Just wait until Addled Hitler sinks Kharg Island, a small coral island off Iran’s coast that according to The Associated Press is “the primary terminal through which nearly all of Iran’s oil exports pass.” The Guardian has a nifty explainer, too.

Petras Katinas, an energy researcher at the Royal United Services Institute who calls Kharg “the main node” of the Iranian economy, said that if Iran were to lose control of the island, it would be difficult for the country to function, even though the island isn’t a military or nuclear target.

“It doesn’t matter which regime is in power — new or old,” Katinas said.

Oh, good. This is like blowing up a 7-Eleven and replacing it with a Circle K, only the Circle K has empty shelves, fuel pumps that don’t work, no employees, and an angry mob forming in the cratered parking lot with weapons in various calibers and configurations, craving a word with management.

Send Whiskey Pete Kegsbreath out to restore order. He can show them his tats. They can show him their rat-a-tat-tats.

His number didn’t come up

~ Patrick O'Grady ~ 9 Comments
Our aeronaut was logging his flight time before Friday the 13th could have a go at clipping his wings.

A thousand thank-yous to everyone who wished Herself a happy (mumble-mumblth) birthday yesterday.

The eldest neighbor kid popped by after dinner to give her a hug and sing “Happy Birthday.” Lord, is she ever growing like a weed. A wee babe in arms she was when first we laid eyes on her, and what would become El Rancho Pendejo, during an open house back in the summer of 2014. And now she’s a middle-schooler as tall as Herself.

Earlier in the day, after cake for breakfast, Herself and I went for a 5K jog in the foothills, which is where we saw the paraglider above, setting up for a landing near the Menaul trailhead.

Fun to watch, but as pasatiempos go it’s not for me. Two broken ankles later when faced with a tall curb I long for an escalator.

Especially on Friday the 13th. I ain’t superstitious, but after 70-odd years of acting the fool from coast to coast, something — or Someone — is bound to be out to get me.

Let them eat cake

~ Patrick O'Grady ~ 12 Comments
“Cake or death? Cake, please.”

By “them” I mean Herself, and by “cake” I mean “half a cinnamon roll,” and why on earth should Herself be eating cake for breakfast?

Because it’s her birthday, that’s why.

There was but a single candle on the “cake,” because record-low snowpack, record-high temperatures, drought continues, red-flag warnings, etc., et al., and so on and so forth. I lit it up and we hopped around the kitchen like crazed bunnies to The Beatles’ “Birthday,” blaring from a JBL Clip 2 fed a YouTube video by my iPhone 13 Mini. Can’t say we Revered Elders are helpless when it comes to managing all these doggone, consarned, newfangled whizbangs, whatchamacallits, and comosellamas, even the ones whose “new” is mostly wore off leaving only the “fangled” bits.

Once breakfast is in the rear view there will be a short trail run followed by some medium-light shopping, a lunch without so much cake in it, and a delicious dinner that may or not conclude with cake, depending upon whether we can get to The Range before they run out and/or close, which happens early in these dire days, when no one can afford gasoline, much less three servings of cake per diem.

You wouldn’t believe the tariff on cake. And you can trust me, because I’m in the media.